In spite of your attempts to locate something interesting and useful on the World Wide Web, you have reached the official pimp website of Skip Guenter's collection of rare and valuable junk, miscellaneous cool crap, weird stuff, thingamabobs, doohickies, whatchamacallits, gonkulators, diddlywhackers and other fine collectibles.

My vast kingdom/estate is located in central Texas. It is piled high and deep with junk. Thanks to the recent advances I have made in an experimental, hybrid assembly process that synthesizes the best qualities of plastic laundry basket and beowulf cluster technologies, it is possible for you to view some of my junk. Your journey begins with this intergalactic portal, which is capable of penetrating into the very darkest depths of the Republic of Texas to our top secret distributed computing farm, which is heavily guarded by pit bulls, an electric fence and a bug zapper.

Many of the things appearing on this website were constructed, engineered, slapped together or broken by highly trained and/or slightly inebriated professionals. You should not attempt to duplicate these amazing feats of engineering at home. We can NOT be held liable for any consequential damages resulting from the use or misuse of information appearing on this website, including but not limited to serious personal injury, death, dismemberment by genetically altered rodents, blazing inferno or catastrophic thermonuclear events which destroy personal property or entire communities, loss of property or relatives to malfunctioning time/space warp portals, alien abductions and/or anal probulations resulting from the successful use of distributed computing projects, physical anomolies or strange growths appearing mysteriously after following my advice, or any other kind of bad shit that happens to you after visiting this site.

Our crack legal staff at the esteemed law firm of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe has advised us that we could conceivably be held liable if anyone were to actually attempt to perform an autopsy on their mother-in-law, as we advised in our how-to section entitled Quick and Easy Alien Autopsy Hoax on a previous version of the website. Apparently, autopsies are not normally performed on people who are still alive, an insignificant detail which we downplayed in our article. We regret to announce that we have had to remove that particular tutorial. Also, the picture of a small, furry creature we identified as an alien lifeform previously unknown to science may actually have been either a sewer rat or possibly William Shatner's toupee. However, we're pretty sure that our film footage of a Sasquatch playing tennis at Wimbledon is real.